The untouchable Mean Girls - The Boston Globe
Is it spooky or sad that I described what I thought must have happened before reading any details? Girls have only gotten meaner since I was a kid.
"Remember: whatever role you fall into in high school, you are stuck with it for the rest of your life." - Stephen Colbert
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
More Shock and Horror
Bullied Irish Girl Who Committed Suicide
Holy crap! When I hear the word bullying I assume it's about boys. But that's the gender difference, physical bullying, which boys often accept as a rite of passage, vs the female's viscous psychological torture that can rip an insecure girl to shreds.
Everyone is taking about what the law should do, and who is responsible, but that blurb you linked to doesn't say nearly enough about the details of this tragedy. It is highly unlikely she would have been treated like that if she wasn't making someone feel threatened, like a ring leader who wanted that boy for herself. She was either perceived to be a doormat to dump on, or a threat. She might have messed around with this "popular boy" who exaggerated what happened, then the bitchy girls who were jealous got everyone to call her a slut. I'd like to see a picture of this girl. I'll bet anything there were some boys who secretly liked her, and she got way too much attention because she was new (and American's love those Irish accents). Usually it does get boring for the tormentors and blows over, but everyone has a different breaking point.
Everyone is taking about what the law should do, and who is responsible, but that blurb you linked to doesn't say nearly enough about the details of this tragedy. It is highly unlikely she would have been treated like that if she wasn't making someone feel threatened, like a ring leader who wanted that boy for herself. She was either perceived to be a doormat to dump on, or a threat. She might have messed around with this "popular boy" who exaggerated what happened, then the bitchy girls who were jealous got everyone to call her a slut. I'd like to see a picture of this girl. I'll bet anything there were some boys who secretly liked her, and she got way too much attention because she was new (and American's love those Irish accents). Usually it does get boring for the tormentors and blows over, but everyone has a different breaking point.
In the teen flicks the boy befriends a big kid to protect him, whereas the girl has to either prove she's cool and put those mean girls in their place by winning the popular boy, or doing something that gets her accepted by them. In real life the best they can hope for is to rise above their outsider status and channel the rage into a good book, screenplay, art work, etc.
The parents of the bullies have neglected to teach their children what being civilized really means, or any basic universally human values, like just not being a shit. The teachers must have noticed, at least on the edge of their radar--although we all know how much meanness is saved for unobserved moments. I am not sure what real authority teachers have for disciplining something that from a distance probably only looks like name calling and ostracizing. And I do know that even the teachers most likely to try to help are overworked and underpaid.
Can you tell I'm not entirely unfamiliar with these situations? And who among us really is? Those of you guilty of bullying know who you are, those who have been the object know how that girl felt, and those of you who stood by and l let it happen need to remember this: "All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing." My kids will go to school armed with that.
10 Things You Must Believe to Oppose Universal Health Care
Usually I get the bulk of my news from NPR and Jon Stewart. Since I've never watched Fox I wouldn't even know what those nasty haters were up to if it wasn't for Jon. Most of the time I only have the opportunity to discuss these things with others who share my values. But on rare days I get a window into the other side when an interesting discussion forms on someone's wall. These happen to rarely, and I would like fb much more if there was more real content.
Today I found this link of a friend's fb wall:
10 Things You Must Believe to Oppose Universal Health Care
I read some comments following it that I just could not let pass. (I hope the poster does not mind me quoting anonymously.)
"anyone who truly believes in it should hop on the raft with that fat slob and head over to Cuba to apply for residency. Skew skew skew. Facts and numbers can't be argued."
"A few facts: Americans live short because of lifestyle NOT quality of medical care."
"Canadians come to the US when it's more than a cold...Brits are pulling their own teeth due to their stellar socialized medicine...and personally, I don't want to pay for the 18 million people who make over $50k but opt not to insure themselves!"
That article is right on. $50k is barely middle class in this economy. If both partners bring that home then they can likely cover basic wellness services. But a family of 4 on $50k is stretched pretty tight, especially if they live on either coast. $100k on either coast sadly does not deliver a life of luxury. A catastrophic illness would not just clean you out, but bury you when your insurance screws you. They are for PROFIT first, not for health care.
And why, oh why are you singling out the hypothetical $50k people you imagine you will be subsidizing? Federal budget wise it's a drop in the bucket. If we all took a look at where our tax dollars really go we would only support at most 80% of the distribution--and probably less--regardless of what our politics are, tea bags and bleeding hearts alike. I would much rather help out that $50k family than 80% of what my taxes get spent on.
I assume you are aware that our tax dollars are lavishly showered on the pharmaceutical companies. They insist on subsidies to fund research for new drugs, then they charge what can only be called insane amounts per pill. Pills your insurance company doesn't want to pay for--despite your high premiums--because those tax-subsidized pills are way too expensive for their profit margin. That is where our elderly are particularly screwed: they spent their whole working lives paying taxes that funded the development of new drugs, and now that they need them the prices are beyond their fixed incomes. Explain THAT to the grandmother of this $50k family that you resent for taking advantage of you.
Every system has it's flaws, here in the USA we pay the most to get the least. Our biggest problem with health care is that for profit insurance is always between us and our doctors. Obama wanted to offer the un and under insured something that would work as well as Medicare, but he wouldn't have gotten anything if he hadn't compromised. It's a frustrating compromise, but it still shows more backbone than "don't ask, don't tell."
In response for the above I was given this link: Summary of Republican Alternative Health Care Plan Maybe I didn't read it carefully enough, but that sounds pretty similar what the Dems want too. What we all want. That list--which sounds so beautifully reasonable--is in complete contradiction to the venomous opposition they are whipping up--which has nothing to do with deficit spending.
It's way too late for the republicans to reject health care reform by posing as fiscal conservatives. Where were they when Bush got us into the mess he left for Obama to cleanup? So it's fine to mismanage/waste/embezzle billions on war, and pretend to invest in new infrastructure in Iraq and and Afghanistan, while failing to provide medical care to our own citizens?
If the republicans were truly serious about those proposals then they WOULD be willing to work with Dems to make real change. They put out lists like that so when they are up for re-election they can pose as supporting care. But if their intentions were honorable they wouldn't be pouting like 3 year olds and refusing to play unless they can have everything their way. That is not how anything ever gets done.
They are letting the their radical fringe take control and using passionate ignorance to keep the "red" and "blue" voters from ever meeting in the middle. They are just making that damn chasm wider than any bridge can cross -- as if it really needed any help.
10 Things You Must Believe to Oppose Universal Health Care
I read some comments following it that I just could not let pass. (I hope the poster does not mind me quoting anonymously.)
"anyone who truly believes in it should hop on the raft with that fat slob and head over to Cuba to apply for residency. Skew skew skew. Facts and numbers can't be argued."
"A few facts: Americans live short because of lifestyle NOT quality of medical care."
"Canadians come to the US when it's more than a cold...Brits are pulling their own teeth due to their stellar socialized medicine...and personally, I don't want to pay for the 18 million people who make over $50k but opt not to insure themselves!"
That article is right on. $50k is barely middle class in this economy. If both partners bring that home then they can likely cover basic wellness services. But a family of 4 on $50k is stretched pretty tight, especially if they live on either coast. $100k on either coast sadly does not deliver a life of luxury. A catastrophic illness would not just clean you out, but bury you when your insurance screws you. They are for PROFIT first, not for health care.
And why, oh why are you singling out the hypothetical $50k people you imagine you will be subsidizing? Federal budget wise it's a drop in the bucket. If we all took a look at where our tax dollars really go we would only support at most 80% of the distribution--and probably less--regardless of what our politics are, tea bags and bleeding hearts alike. I would much rather help out that $50k family than 80% of what my taxes get spent on.
I assume you are aware that our tax dollars are lavishly showered on the pharmaceutical companies. They insist on subsidies to fund research for new drugs, then they charge what can only be called insane amounts per pill. Pills your insurance company doesn't want to pay for--despite your high premiums--because those tax-subsidized pills are way too expensive for their profit margin. That is where our elderly are particularly screwed: they spent their whole working lives paying taxes that funded the development of new drugs, and now that they need them the prices are beyond their fixed incomes. Explain THAT to the grandmother of this $50k family that you resent for taking advantage of you.
Every system has it's flaws, here in the USA we pay the most to get the least. Our biggest problem with health care is that for profit insurance is always between us and our doctors. Obama wanted to offer the un and under insured something that would work as well as Medicare, but he wouldn't have gotten anything if he hadn't compromised. It's a frustrating compromise, but it still shows more backbone than "don't ask, don't tell."
In response for the above I was given this link: Summary of Republican Alternative Health Care Plan Maybe I didn't read it carefully enough, but that sounds pretty similar what the Dems want too. What we all want. That list--which sounds so beautifully reasonable--is in complete contradiction to the venomous opposition they are whipping up--which has nothing to do with deficit spending.
It's way too late for the republicans to reject health care reform by posing as fiscal conservatives. Where were they when Bush got us into the mess he left for Obama to cleanup? So it's fine to mismanage/waste/embezzle billions on war, and pretend to invest in new infrastructure in Iraq and and Afghanistan, while failing to provide medical care to our own citizens?
If the republicans were truly serious about those proposals then they WOULD be willing to work with Dems to make real change. They put out lists like that so when they are up for re-election they can pose as supporting care. But if their intentions were honorable they wouldn't be pouting like 3 year olds and refusing to play unless they can have everything their way. That is not how anything ever gets done.
They are letting the their radical fringe take control and using passionate ignorance to keep the "red" and "blue" voters from ever meeting in the middle. They are just making that damn chasm wider than any bridge can cross -- as if it really needed any help.
Volume and Verbosity
I love my children, but I am on mother overload. They are watching to much tv today, but I am thrilled that they aren't bugging me, or making too much noise. Excessive volume has been a real issue lately. Volume and verbosity. Volume and verbosity. They are burying me. I wouldn't have thought it possible. Most people who have known or currently know me would willingly say I talk more than anyone they know. I pair well with similarly aggressive types that know how to interrupt to take their turn talking. (Roseanne Barr said the opposite of talking isn't listening, its waiting.)
By the time the monkeys are tucked into bed I can barely stand the sound of Drew's voice. It's not his fault. But he shares my tiresome habit of saying too much, when far fewer words would make his point better.
By the time the monkeys are tucked into bed I can barely stand the sound of Drew's voice. It's not his fault. But he shares my tiresome habit of saying too much, when far fewer words would make his point better.
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